Nothing

I has been a year since I have written anything. My baby girl has grown up and I feel like like I have been in a fog since I had her (she will be two in January). This past year has been trying, overwhelming and frustrating. I have so many thoughts in my head I don't even nowhere to begin. I am not writing this to get sympathy from people, I am writing because this is my journal and I want to capture anything and everything. The good the bad and the ugly. I managed to lose the weight after having Tinsley and managed to run two races this past summer. I ran The Rainer to Ruston (50 mile relay race) with five other girls and the Sound to Narrows. I was in pretty good shape. Now I just don't care. I stopped counting calories and have just been on an eat-a-thon. I'm still running and exercising but other then that don't care. I'm in a funk and YES there are bigger things to be worrying about and others have bigger things that have happened to them this year but for me it is what it is. I feel like I can't even function and I get up everyday only because I have to. Isaac has preschool five days a week which is great its free through our school district. The only downfall is that it is a 15-20 minute drive EACH direction. Which means my day pretty much is SHOT! I leave the house at 12:30pm and then turn back around and go home. I don't do well with change, I don't do well with having interruptions and I don't like having a schedule of what days to do this etc..I want to be able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I am so scattered brained lately I cannot even get out a complete thought (hence why this is all jumbled) I can't even sit down and read a book. I'm fidgety and feel panicky A LOT and can't focus!! I feel like Alice in Wonderland falling down the rabbit hole and spiraling out of control...to be continued