Sunday, October 18, 2009
Thoughts and Random Ramblings of a Mad Women
Where do I even begin. I have slacked lately on blogging. I feel like Alice in Wonderland chasing after the white rabbit down the hole and never getting anywhere. I have lost 71lbs and it is hard to maintain and my food choices as of lately have been oh let's say WAY out of control. My children are driving me nuts more like everything is driving me nuts. I can never seem to finish a project and I am surprised that I even get my housework/laundry/vacuuming/everything else that comes with a house done. When I set my mind to do things I can accomplish them. I watch and DVR way to many reality television shows. I have a shoe fetish and can't seem to have enough(the only colors I don't have are white and gray). I was able to get Jared into preschool through Childfind with the school district now I am just waiting and waiting and waiting did I mention I was waiting for the teacher to get a hold of me(he qualified on October 2,2009). I never right in my journal anymore I can't tell you the last time I actually picked up my scriptures to read them. It feels like I have had my calling at church FOREVER.There are days I go to church and just want to turn around and walk out and never go back/ but then there are people who send you a nice email to let you know what a good job you are doing with your calling, Thank you so much for that I needed it :). I am frustrated that I still have to work I would like to quit. I have never been diagnosed but I am pretty sure I have ADD. I really wonder some days how I am able to have and keep friends because I am not a nice person. My husband says I am vain but I just tell him I like to look nice and I love keeping up with in style fashions. I have a crazy jacked up family. I feel as if I am not good enough for others. I tend to let the littlest things bother me. I think I need ANGER management. I have been really trying to treat my children with more kindness some days are better than others. I wish I wish I wish I had a magic wand to fix everything but I don't. I feel bad inviting people over to my house because it is small. I stick my foot in my mouth regularly and don't care take me or leave me that is who I am. I have never gone to college and am afraid to do so. I am afraid of failing. I am not perfect and feel like I have to have all my ducks in a row at times. I have three kids and the house can get quit messy. I love my husband and am grateful that he puts up with me and all that comes along with me.
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5 comments:
Did that feel good? :) Heather, you are not a mad women- you are a NORMAL mom- yes normal- I can't tell you how many times I have felt most of those same things as you mentioned! You are an amazing mother- I can tell a HUGE difference in how patient you are- it makes me want to be a better mother for seeing that. And you are a great friend- you inspire me to make my goal, you make me laugh, you love my kids, I love yours- and I love that you are confident (yes you are!) and don't change for others. Call me if you need me to go on, because oh I can ;)! I hope your "ramblings" helped and you feel better now- because you are AMAZING- yes AMAZING... and your house isn't too small- its so dang cute! There I'm done with my novel.
"Sounds like life to me, it ain't no fantasy
It's just a common case of everyday reality
Man, I know it's tough but you've gotta suck it up
To hear you talk, you're caught up in some tragedy
Sounds like life to me"
Oh man that must have felt really good :)
I agree with the above in that, it sound's like the life of wife, mother, friend and member of this beautiful gospel.
You amaze me with your strength, confidence, and most of all your testimony of what it is to be a wife, mother and FRIEND!
I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one to have a bad day, week, month! Hahaha!
WOW!!!! A lot of pent up everything spewed forth girl. Everyone needs to at some point. Its a good release. You've come a long way baby. I am proud of you. Now back to the shoes and vain things...hmmm, maybe just a distraction from other BIGGER items bugging you. All is well though Heather. You are fine. You are a busy Momma and wife. Your house will do honey, look at me and mine. We have survived and learned a lot in the process. Just keep putting one foot and front of the other every day and oh, try and keep it out of your mouth!I Love ya, Julie aka Auntie
I have white and gray shoes if you ever want to borrow them. :)
Seriously though Heather, thank you for sharing that and letting me know that I am not the only one who feels that way. You are a very talented, smart, beautiful, honest and inspiring woman. Just remember that when you have a bad moment it doesn't have to be a bad day, it can just be a bad moment.
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